2011 in retrospect

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! This was a wonderful and this was a difficult year for us. In January Jason had his ICD (defibrillator/pacemaker) inserted in January. Many dilemmas about this and what was best for Jason. Joanna, Dean, Jeff, Robyn, Kim and everyone was wonderful during that time - thank you. It turned out to be a smart move.

The end of March my contract ended with DMFS (Directorate Military Family Services), I loved working there with my PPD team but the good news is that I started April 1st with QOL (Quality of Life), an amazing opportunity to support families including their CF members and help families with their access to health care as Family Health Care Coordinator!

In May I went to NYC with my peeps (fabulous trip - thank you Michelle, Jackie and Florence). I went for stress relief and found it at the Plaza Hotel! Central Park, MOMA, Broadway (Mamma Mia - a surreal experience for me, I was in heaven), Statue of Liberty, Strawberry Fields, shopping on Fifth Ave, Versace, Tiffany's, FAO Schwartz, Saks, Bloomingdales, the list goes on! Drinking a Cosmo with your friends and laughing easily lifts the stress away.

After I got back from NYC (I like saying NYC -can you tell?) Jason's ICD fired and he had another massive cardiac "event" as they like to call it (I like calling fun things events but I digress). Jason recovered from that with some meds adjustments but lost his licence due to the ICD firing. 7 months I drove him and for 7 months he drove me (we drove each other up the wall at times).

In June we found out one of the most important people in our lives is battling cancer. A shock but a roller coaster ride again but we are used to that by now. Fighting and winning, thank god.

Jacob finished Grade 7 with amazing marks and he played soccer all summer. We loved watching him play. In August we went to Newfoundland for our annual visit.

In September Jason was posted from Leitrim to the IPSC (Integrated Personnel Support Centre) and was then posted to DCSM (Directorate Casualty Support Management) which is in my building. So we were driving together every day and working in the same building - a definite recipe for marital success.

In November I went Black Friday shopping with some amazing women (Thanks Lisa, Kristine and Kim - you guys made me laugh so much, just what the doctor ordrered) and Jason started a new job at the Department of History and Heritage - he is working in a library and loving it! I met his co-workers at his work Christmas party and they are the nicest bunch! I am so happy for him.

In December, after 2 months of research, we bought a new vehicle - Jason got his licence back before we bought it so he is a happy camper. An early Christmas gift for us all. Jacob is doing well in school and I am loving my job, working with an amazing caring group of individuals and supporting military families.

Other friends have been diagnosed with cancer and illness this year, we are missing the people who have passed away this year. Family and friends are quietly struggling behind closed doors, battling life and its challenges like all of us. Reaching out to support each other is the greatest gift you can give and the greatest gift you can receive. I know this for sure. We have been held up and supported through this 3 1/2 year transition which will be ongoing I think and that is OK. Through the love and support of our family and friends, co-workers and even strangers, we will ride this roller coaster. Now we will do it kicking, screaming and swearing, but we will do it. I hope we can do the same for you.

To 2012 and all of its surprises and mysteries, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!

After lots of thinking and soul searching I realized I am driving my husband up the wall. Well, maybe I came to this conclusion after he told me "Lisa you are driving me up the @#&%$ wall!". Just over 3 1/2 years ago I went from sharing the responsibilities of home, family, our life 50-50 to taking them head on 100%. Over time this moved from 100-0 to about 70-30. I thought I was doing pretty good and I would say Jas thought I was too (this being all in my head of course). But now, as most of you know, he's doing so well, so amazingly well, that he doesn't need me that much anymore nor does he want me giving him direction or taking on stuff and leaving him out. I feel as though we have been transitioning all this time and we were used to doing this 1-2 months after a move or a tour but 3 1/2 years is a long time to be in transition. Needless to say it has taken its toll on all of us and yes I am grateful that we have been able to take this journey (the other road was not one I ever want to take).

Now I need to learn to let go, I definitely need to relax. I hope I can do this and I have been taking small steps towards this since the fall. 2012 is the time to do this even more. Of course it takes two to tango and the changes we have made over all of this time have not been easy or comfortable at times so I forsee that in our future. I am just glad we can do it together.

Pain is a funny thing. I know it is an ironic thing to say but it is, it comes over you whenever it wants. No matter how much you try sometimes it will come to you anyway. Anxiety for me comes from the anticipation of such pain. I have figured out some coping mechanisms to stave off the anxiety and I must say my day to day living is improving.

With that said I had an anxiety free Black Friday shopping weekend with 3 wonderful friends. Laughing and swapping stories, shopping and eating, sharing a drink, it is good for the soul to do this with girlfriends. Making the time to do it and following through will not disappoint.

Being raised to care about people was just one of the brilliant things my parents did for me. Thanks Mom and Dad. I am glad I am that person. I am glad Jason and I can pass that down to Jacob (Jason was raised the same way). We need to keep the caring going.

Black Friday is not about the shopping

What a wonderful weekend with good friends, laughing, gabbing and shopping. Just what we all needed. Such a fab shopping experience!

Food critic?

We went to the new restaurant in town last night to check it out. It was beautiful on the inside - job well done! We had to wait ten minutes to get a table despite some tables being reserved and empty but that wasn't a long wait. Our waitress was great but the wait for our starters was about 45 mins to an hour. Jacob tried the triple decker club which he liked except for the cheese slices ("not real cheese"), Jason had the donair wrap which he said was ok but would not have again (also no dressing for his salad) and I made the mistake of ordering the fish and chips - fish was pollock and undercooked, coating was thick and mushy like a bad chicken ball and the fries at this place are frozen and are not worth the calories. I would never order it again. The menu had many options and I will go back and give it another chance as it's local. The waitress did take my order off the bill and was very kind, she told she was embarrassed about us having to wait so long. Three tables had already walked out on her. Poor girl, I hope she stays there.

Thanks

Thanks to all of our family and friends who love us unconditionally, without your support, emails, phone calls, and visits, we would not be where we are today. I am grateful for Suzye, Brian, Ron, Derryck and Bruno, and all of our military family; the staff at the Royal Alex, the brain rehab centre at the General and the Heart Institute. I am grateful for all of my extended family at work - my so-called sanity is intact.

Some of our friends are more family now than friends - a bonus to being a military family.

From heaven to hell

Again the phrase Your Life is For Rent is drove home again and again and again. Damn. Jack Layton, Resolute Bay, damn. My heart goes out to all of the families, friends, loved ones who are mourning today. We mourn with you.

Our trip to Newfoundland this year once again showed us how precious life is...from listening to the laughter shared by Jacob, my three adorable nephews and my parents to watching Jacob go down to the shed with Pop and measure his height to seeing Jason smile at his grandmother and me sitting down at Maria's wedding with my aunts and uncles having a drink and talking about old times. Reconnecting to those who love us is an annual ritual of ours that we have not taken for granted. Playing cards in Millertown with my aunts, surrounded by the Lanes, including the puppies, is a gift. Playing cards with Fred and Brenda, before Jacob got sick, another gift. Watching Jacob play with their new puppy - a gift. Having a meal at Gros Morne with Marie and her friend, spending an afternoon with Paula, one of my nearest and dearest friends, as she cut and coloured my hair (Thank you!), eating Audrey's muffins, having a laugh with Dena and Bill, watching Jacob have a laugh with Aaron, watching Jason enjoy crabs legs at Ida's and Cater's, sitting with Roland as got his chemotherapy treatment - all a gift. Newfoundland brings me back to my soul, every time.

Attending the Cullen double retirement in Gananoque after we got back from NF (I didn't know it was a double until John let it out of the bag!) and spending an evening with the Cullens, the Osmonds and meeting new friends was a night of pure joy. The authentic sharing of love and respect in that room that night was painfully noticed by me. Why do people act fake? Why are people not themselves 24/7? I do not know how to live any other way and I am grateful. The food, drinks and laughs never stopped until we went to bed that night. Thank you John and Dodi for including us, we miss you.

Arrrrggggggh!

Health care insurance - a wonderful thing that prevents us from paying tons of money for our needed pharmceuticals. Unless you want them now. I go to Costco to pick up my drugs that I called in online (convenient). When I get there they tell me they cancelled filling one of my drugs and would I mind waiting 5 mins for them to do it (not convenient)? I wait. Oh still not ready, can you wait 5 more mins? I ask "Are you sure it's another 5 mins?" She says now "5-10 mins?" I tell her if she's guessing then I am not playing. I called ahead so I would not have to wait, although I waited in line to get served. Do I have to wait in line again. No. OK. Hurry up. Then the pharmacist shows up - you cannot geet your drugs filled unless you are 7 days away from taking the last pill. So I ask - what about vacations? She says our drug plan makes the rules. I can transfer the prescription if I am going away or pay the whole price and TRY and get my money back from my drug plan company. Try I ask?? Try??? What is this? And why wasn't this in bold print when the drug cards were issued? I obviously have to talk to my drug plan company and put in a complaint (not convenient). So I did the stubborn thing and left without the drug because knowing my luck I would not be able to get reimbursed the cash. Dollars to doughnuts. So if you are a family member of the Canadian Forces community, RCMP family member, etc, good luck with trying to get your drugs and have your bases covered ahead of time. Good luck. Another positive experience with the computerization of our planet.

The title has never been truer

These past 2 weeks make the title I picked for this blog a confirmation that my gut instinct for the title was a correct one. Jesus H Christ. Why do bad things have to happen to good people? Why? Is it necessary to test someone to the limits of their pain and suffering but then test them again?

I could go on but I only spend a few minutes a day (I started this habit 3 years ago) ranting and raving. It lets me vent but I will not let myself dwell. There is no positive energy in that. And positive thoughts, looking moving forward, is the only way.

My Uncle Vern passed away this week and the world is a lesser place for him not being here. He was a kind and gentle soul who could ask more questions than an audition for Jeopardy and he could tell the funniest stories you ever heard - all in the same conversation. Losing a loved one while you live away is a pain. You want to be there for their immediate and extended family and friends, you want to hug the ones you love.

Dealing with the medical issues in our own family, dealing with work and kid, dealing with being posted away from home for 18 years, it can take its toll. Missing home is like missing a limb sometimes. My family and friends are the most important thing to me. Thank god for my military family, my friends away from home.

We also had our next door neighbours get packed up this week, they are moving back to Nova Scotia, posted back to Halifax. They are estatic. I will miss them like crazy. Kim has been there for me for the past 3 years. Ken and the kids too, god, it's also a part of a military family's life to watch your newly acquired loved ones leave. To have them for 3 years was a blessing.

Jacob is finishing Grade 7 this week. We are "making " making him go to Montreal for his last school trip - Biodome and La Ronde. God, we are awful parents. He told us tonight that a better idea would be" let me stay home and just give me the 60 bucks". His logic is flawed, obviously.

We have lost more soldiers this month, I cry each time I read the news. I feel for those families. The launch of Family Information Line (FIL) and www.familyforce.ca was this past week as well. More options for military families. Working on the OSI videos for DMFS, which are now on FamilyForce, is one of my proudest moments - thank you Royal Ottawa Hospital and thank you Dean for letting me be a part of it. For young people living in a home with a parent with an OSI it is a great and worthwhile project.

Jason made homemade beans and bread and we had friends over to enjoy it this weekend. Nothing beats a great homemade meal, good friends and a game of cards. Hopefully we will have started up the old tradition again.

Oh and Jason went and saw a Pink Floyd tribute band here last night. Please talk to him about it. He was hilariously calling it "Pink Lloyd" and joked that he was going to buy a shirt there. And he had to bring his lawn chair to the arena because they was no seating available. Apparently "they didn't suck".

That's all for now, off to bed, a new day around the corner.

Relay For Life

Friends of mine participated in Relay For Life this weekend. I have realized that life is exactly that - a relay.

#1 You need you family and friends, your loved ones, on this relay or you will not make it through or you will make it but be a miserable sad person at the end of the race. The support of others holds you up, inspires you and pushes you forward when you do not think you can go anymore. This is why we love others.

#2 It is a struggle. It is not always easy. That is life. See #1.

#3 There are bumps in the road, sometimes you see mountains. Climbing has become your new hobby. Scaling the mountain is the journey. Know the difference between a bump and a mountain. Perspective can be a good thing.

#4 Everyone is running their own relay race. Do not forget you are not the centre of the universe. I know you want to sometimes but everyone has a race to run, everyone has a story.

#5 Sometimes the relay is scary but there are joyous moments as well. Live in those moments. Open your eyes, experience it. Do not let the fear overtake you at all times. Living in fear is not living. Just breathe.

ICD kick and moving on

So the past 2 weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind and all has ended well. My girls trip to NYC was amaze-balls (Love the crazy relaity show talk)! Sharing that weekend with Michelle, Jackie and Florence was a dream come true. Mamma Mia was an out of body experience for me, my face hurt from all of the smiling! Of course I banged into 3 women from CBS in the bathroom during the intermission. Of course. Also banged into Dawn Baker in the airport on the way down there, of course.

After all of that elation I spent a day at the Air Force Family Conference in Winnipeg - truly amazing work. It was wonderful to match faces with names and make new connections. CDS and his wife did an outstanding job connecting the dots as did Gen Blondin and his wife. The Wing Commander from Comox left a lasting impression on me. Nice guy, works for his troops and their families, wants to do more - inspiring to say the least. Love my new job, it is challenging and exciting. I am advocating for military families and there is no better job for me.

Then I get home! Jason surprises us all Wednesday evening and we are back into the medical rollercoaster. Thank you Dr. Ruddy for your amazing advice. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you to the Pacemaker clinic and its staff at the Heart Institute, Dr. Lemery and all of the Hear Institute staff - the nurses were so wonderful. Jason is doing well and feeling great. Whew. Still waiting on the letter from MOT about Jason's licence, just another bump in the road.

Talking with one of Jason's night nurses was eye-opening for me. I was talking to her and all of a sudden she looked at me and asked "Are you seeing anyone for that?" By that she meant my worries, my nervousness, my anxieties about all things Jason and his heart. I told her I had and she said "Good. It is time you moved on. You know he may be back her again and again". Hmmmmm. The past almost 3 years have been time spent worrying about another heart attack, about how it will affect Jason and all of us, our lives. 3 years of being frightened, anxiety attacks, crying. Now I spent some of that 3 years laughing, enjoying moments in the moment, feeling warm and fuzzy. It hasn't all been bad. But it was time I moved on. Jason and Jacob did it. Why is it so hard for me? There are worse things happening to good people in the world. I need to be grateful (I am) and move on. Crap happens. So bear with me as I try to reverse old habits. I know I can.

On a happier note,
We went to the twins 3rd birthday party this weekend, we missed one and two so it was so nice to be at their 3rd. A fun time.

May 17th, 2011 in the National Post there is an article about taking out organs for organ donation from patients whose hearts have stopped for 5 mins or more (in ON). The controversy surrounding this fascinates me because 4 years ago I would have thought this was a good thing and now, not so much. It is actually frightening to me that I would have been approached 3 years ago to donate any possible organs due to cardiac death and not brain death. Families need to be accounted for in these policy decisions. Facts do too. I would be interested in hearing how many people survive cardiac death of five minutes or more in Canada. I would also be interested in having it noted in articles posted like the one I mentioned. Showing both sides of astory is important. I am in favour of organ donation, always have been.

Being Sick Sucks

How's that for a title? So eloquent, so meaningful. After doing 2 weeks of a virus/cold? a few weeks back, going through an antibiotic regimen which was killer on my stomach, apparently that treatment failed and the antibiotic resistant bacteria survived in my sinuses - or that's the theory anyway. Now I am into Day 5 of misery, wicked cough, sore throat, sinus pain. I will admit I do feel better than I did on Monday but this cough and the sneezing, I am afraid if it is something else then all my peeps at work will be exposed. Plus I don't think I could drive to work let alone actually work yet. Between the nose blowing, cough, wheezing, drinking 18 gallons of liquid and thus going to the bathroom constantly I am staying put again today. I had sinus x-rays and chest x-rays done yesterday because now there is a possibility it is pneumonia or something else. When I went in for the x-rays the tech took my sinus shots yesterday. I enjoyed seeing my spine, skull and cavities although I never got a long enough look. When she put in the chest x-ray cartridge I said "my god that's a big cartridge" and she didn't even break her stride, she replied "well you have a big chest". If I wasn't so miserable I would have laughed out loud (and not LOL either). It made my grin though, I like her. I cannot remember who sent me the thyroid cover article about the increase with thyroid cancer may be linked to exposure during x-rays (including dental) and I already have a thyroid problem so as she was covering up my ovaries, kidneys I asked for the neck piece. She found it and helped me put it on but I do not think she would have had me wear it had I not asked for it. I could not wear it for the chest x-rays but I did for the sinus shots (which were quite a few). I think everyone should be asking for extra protection when having x-rays - what could it hurt? I must go take my antibiotic and extra fluids, call my boss and tell him I yet again must stay in hibernation. I am missing work, adult conversation, even going to the grocery store, living. I hope this ends soon or becomes tolerable enough to get through my day without pj's. I wish this on no one.

Update

Ended a job on Thursday, started my new one Friday. Today I am sick, my head, my throat, cough, sinuses.....doc thinks it is sinusitis and gave me some heavy duty antibiotics, I hope it works. I am all excited about my new job so I hope I am ok on Monday to work. Had a wonderful 40th and 13th birthday party for Jason and Jacob. A great time was had by all, lots of out of town friends which was so nice. We had a great evening talking and laughing, my stomach hurt the next day. I had a dream last night, now I was feverish, that Jason's ICD went off and I watched it happen to him and then I watched him have a stroke. It was a nightmare really. I came right up off the bed, it took me a long time to settle down, it was so real. I think my nerves are a bit raw these days. Just when I stop worrying and panicking I have this nightmare. What is my subconscious trying to tell me? That I should worry? Hmmmmm.

Woe is me......

So I was sick for 5 days and got back to work on Tuesday. Wednesday I was asked to attend a meeting with my co-workers and my supervisors. I received my end of contract letter and everyone in the room seemed sad. I love my job. I love working with my co-workers - they are such a supportive team and a wonderful group of people. They all want to help military families and support them. Being able to help and provide support to military families on a national scale has been a dream job for me. Working on the education aspect within the military lifestyle was like working in a job that I wrote the job description for....can you tell I am having a bit of trouble letting go of such a beloved job?

I am trying to remain optimistic and realistic. I am applying for other jobs that interest me. And I will keep supporting military families albeit on a smaller scale but doing it fills something in me. Giving back to my military community is a must.

This week I also found out that my wonderful friends and neighbours are posted back to Halifax. They are estatic of course and I am happy for them. But I will miss them. Dearly. Of course they will be friends for life and I was lucky to have had them so close for 2 years, but July will be a sad event. Another piece of the military lifestyle. The positive side is the number of friends I have and will have always. But I have to say it sucks to have your good freinds move away. Or you move away from them.

Chin up, moving forward. I have 3 weeks to get the job well done.

Update

Jason had his check up this past week and all is good. One less thing for me to worry about. I had thought I had worried a lot before and then my hussband has a heart attack and my worry level jumped by 1000. I am finally trying to get it down. It only took 2 and a half years to try and really reduce it, I am a slow learner.

Jacob's report came out this week and it was amazing! 96 in math! Defintely takes after his Dad, ha. Great marks in English and in French so we were very proud of him. He is about 5'8 now and wearing a size 12 Men's shoe so he is actually growing like a weed. He is a good nice kid and that is what matters.

I am busy at work. Had 2 days down in TO this past week for a film shoot with The Dot Film Company. An amazing group of young creative professionals. It was so interesting to watch them work! A great experience all round.

March 31 us approaching and I am hoping my contract is renewed. I am actively looking for a job but there is nothing that compares to this one, I love it. But if you hear anything or see anything please forward it along!

Past 4 weeks

So 4 weeks have past since Friday and Jason is driving again. He is a happy camper. I liked knowing where he was but I will enjoy his ability to shovel again. His check up is coming up and I am hoping all the news is good news. Until then we wait. I am glad he healed well and is doing better.

Friends of ours from YK have moved here and we are estatic to have them so close! Yes they are a 45 min drive from us but that is closer than thousands of miles - we will take it! Good news to have such good friends nearby - the more the merrier.

When is this snow thing stopping? I cannot say this too loudly because we haven't been out on snowmobile yet due to the surgery but we are hoping next weekend it will be a possibility.

Royal Alex Hospital

I phoned the Royal Alex Hospital in Edmonton today and I asked for any of the nurses Jason had when we were there in 2008. A nurse kindly told me that Matthew, a nurse we held in high regard and who we all got close too in those 4 weeks at the CCU, was coming on his shift in an hour. So I called back. At first when I introduced myself he wasn't remembering me but when I mentioned Jason and the military he remembered. He asked me first if Jason was OK and I said yes and he quickly told me he had goosebumps. I gave him the Coles notes version of our life right up to the ICD implant and Matthew was so happy. He couldn't wait to tell his manager and the other nurses. He told me it was the best news he had had in the past 3 months. He thanked me for calling and I thanked him and the staff for all of their care back in 2008. I remembered that Matthew had told me that the staff at the CCU never get to hear the good stories. People who happily go home go about their lives and forget to give updates to the staff so that was my goal today. For the most part the CCU nurses see the details of pain and then death and how it affects the families, they sometimes need reminding why they do what they do, one good story can erase 3 months of loss in an intensive care unit. That's why I called today.

Love and Support

The love and support of our families and friends are what gets me through some of the toughest days I have gone through. Being in that hospital yesterday and having 2 very dear sweet loving friends show up and surprise me touched me to my core. Their hugs and their smiles lifted me up. Especially since they have a lot going on their own lives. My work family showed up at the hospital main doors to take me away and we had a delicious lunch and great conversation which I really needed. The calls, emails, the chats all made yesterday a better day. Thank you. Thank you for your positive thoughts, your caring loving support, thank you.
Jason and I talked about all of the support we have received since the beginning of all this, and it is happily overwhelming. We are truly blessed by the people in our lives.

Reminders

I have had some really wierd reminders of what went on the day of Jason's heart attack and I have let a lot of them go. I have gotten rid of certain clothes or items I used during my stay in Edmonton. There are still some lagging ones such as the mini speaker sysytem I bought for his IPOD so he could listen to Stan Rogers and his books on tape during the day in the hospital. I was trying to play what he liked and let him know when it was day or night. Now he still uses that so I don't think I can just up and throw that out. Well, I could but it would not be pretty, ha. My cousin D sent him tons of huge photos of family, friends, himself, images which we used to decorate his room walls. I have some of them in my cubicle at work, irony at its best, but they are happy reminders so I am OK with that.
When I arrived in Edmonton and looked at what I had packed in Yellowknife - I did not have many things, nor did they make much sense. So I had to buy some stuff - socks, underwear, brush, deodorant, etc and I also did not have any slippers packed. So at the nearest mall (across the road from the hotel room) Audrey and I bought our needed items and I bought a pair of green slip ons and used them as slippers. They were OK, they served their purpose but they weren't really comfortable. But I continued to wear them for the next 2 years. Why? Why didn't I leave them in Edmonton? Why did I wear not so comfortable shoes for 2 years? I felt like I was punishing myself but I did not know why. So I had a lighbulb moment just before Audrey and Roland got here that they were not travelling into 2011 with me. I did not wear them while they were here and I threw them out a few days ago.
How strange, I am sure Freud would have had a field day with me. It was like I did not want to let that time in Edmonton go, like I wanted to hang onto it. No more. Looking forward is still scary sometimes but it's what we should all be doing. Looking back is good for perspective but not for pain, grief, trauma. That time in YK and Edmonton bonded me to many people for life, a very good thing. I always appreciated Jason and Jacob and what we had together as a family but I smile a lot more when they aren't looking. I know who my friends are (and wouldn't you all like to know that, without something bad happening of course). Seeing army uniforms makes me so proud no matter who is in the uniform. I know I can push through.
Of course I am extra stressed at times, I get tense a lot, I think too much, I worry more but as time moves ahead I am trying to work on those things about myself that have been affected. I probably tell more white lies when people ask if I am OK. But sometimes I lay it on people and I know that is not what they wanted to hear. I still feel honesty comes first. I know I can be raw and sharp but I try not to be.
Jason gave me a beautiful Christmas card this year :
A wife is the one who shares each season of your life...
...she is the companion of your heart through everything life brings.
In the happy times we cherish,
in the hard times that we weather,
In the quiet, tender moments
that we spend alone together...
In all the times
of smiles and tears
that life can bring our way,
I'm grateful
you're beside me,
and I love you more
each day.

One time, he said that he knew why he was with me but he did not know why I was with him. Why are you with me? I think I replied " Idiot". I told him that I when I met him, I met my father and then I knew he was the one. Damn. He is kind, friendly to everyone, loving, smart and a good soul and would make a wonderful father. He was just like my Dad. I did not expect to meet the one at age 23 but that is Lana's and Dena's fault. Dena for having that party and Lana for taking me to that party. It's all their faults.

Christmas 2010 - a new beginning

Leading up to Christmas Jacob got his report card - he is doing so well in school! The day before Christmas break he came home with an 80+ on his last math test and he was worried because it wasn't in the 90's! Now secretly I was glad because this attitude will keep him in study/school mode but my Oscar winning performance included telling him that it was an awesome mark (it is especially for us mathemagicians (which is what Jason calls me)) and that as long as he knows where he went wrong then he learnt something and that is OK. I am so relieved that he is enjoying school and his friends there.

Audrey and Roland arrived on the 23rd and Christmas officially began for us. Jacob was so happy to see them, we all were. Audrey immediately had Jason take her to the mall (yes Roland went too) from the airport (we were both working that day) and I met them there for lunch - so nice! I did not have holidays to take but the way Christmas and New Year's fell it felt like a vacation. Over Christmas Audrey and I shopped, Roland fixed things around our house, we played games and cards, visited with lots of friends and family too. We all had a great Christmas eve with the Moores and a wonderful New Year's Eve with the Staggs (all the crowd!) - thank you Maggie for my birthday cake. Mom sent me a birthday cake which was delicious! Thank you Mom!

On my birthday my boss threw me a birthday breakfast and we all went to that - it was such a great day overall. After New Year's Audrey and I met up with Beryl and had a wonderful breakfast and conversation and then more shopping. I have her shopped out I think. ha

My in-laws are the best. People who complain about their in-laws are a mystery to me. Roland and Audrey put up with my antics and still love me unconditionally. Who could ask for more? Audrey cooked us moose stew for god sakes. We all wish they could have stayed longer but 2 weeks from home is hard, I know. We miss them already and we can't wait to see them again. Thank you Audrey and Roland for making our Christmas extra special this year. Seeing Jacob's smile and laughter when he was around you guys was a great Christmas present. He did things for them while they were here and wanted to be around them so much - it really warmed my heart and it could have made me cry if I thought about it too much. His realtionship with them and with Mom and Dad has been important to us since day one. Seeing it blossom over the years to what is soon becoming a teenage - grand parent relationship is one of the joys in life.