If I had the whole year to do over again would I do anything different? Probably not. I fought tooth and nail for Jason's medical care, and our military family helped us to that with alot less fight and more ease to be frank. If I could have protected Jacob more I would have but I do not think that was possible.
Would I have given up the chance to know how dedicated and loving Jason's colleagues were at JTFN? No.
Would I have given up the chance to witness Jeff and Jennifer go beyond the call of friends and take Jacob in as their own? No.
Would I have given up the chance to love Roland and Audrey more than I ever thought possible? No.
Would I have given up the chance to have my best friend in the world show me her love? No.
Would I have given up the chance to see what friendship is firsthand? No. To witness Keith, Ros and so many family and friends show their love through visits, emails, calls, support? No.
Would I have given up the chance to have Tom, Teresa, Mason and Shelby take us under their wings? No.
We have seen many great things this past year, haven't we?
All of you have been a sight to see, to witness the backbone of friendship, kinship, it has been a joy.
Would I have given up the chance to watch Jason in the fight of his life, for his life? Yes. But boy was it a miracle to watch. To see that happen, day by day, minute by minute. A gift in a cloak of tragedy.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Happy Anniversary
It has been one year since Jason's heart attack. One fast but traumatic and life changing year. It has also been a year of hope, love, laughter and pure joy. As we watched Jacob play soccer tonight I tried to think back over the year's events but I could not go there. Life is so good now. Nothing but forward.
Thank you to you all and you know who you are who have helped us, supported us, called, emailed, visited, lent us your ears, your rooms, your table. You are all part of our family. XO's to Audrey and Roland.
I also managed to forget my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. It is today. Last June 23rd I had my mind blown and did not remember them of course. Yesterday I found a book with birthdays and anniversary's in it and I saw it. Now I have known when Mom and Dad's anniversary is but last year it got blown out of my memory bank and did not return this year. It is hard to imagine something that devestating wiping my parent's anniversary out of my long term memory. Happy 40th Mom and Dad. Hopefully next year I won't be as lax.
I start my new job tomorrow and I am so excited. I am off to bed. Spent all day today with Jacob and his class at Mont Cascade waterpark in Quebec - lots of sunscreen and fun!
Goodnight and I will leave you with the card Mom and Dad sent Jason:
The earth went around the sun again, and you made the full circle in good health. What a difference a year makes.
Thank you to you all and you know who you are who have helped us, supported us, called, emailed, visited, lent us your ears, your rooms, your table. You are all part of our family. XO's to Audrey and Roland.
I also managed to forget my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. It is today. Last June 23rd I had my mind blown and did not remember them of course. Yesterday I found a book with birthdays and anniversary's in it and I saw it. Now I have known when Mom and Dad's anniversary is but last year it got blown out of my memory bank and did not return this year. It is hard to imagine something that devestating wiping my parent's anniversary out of my long term memory. Happy 40th Mom and Dad. Hopefully next year I won't be as lax.
I start my new job tomorrow and I am so excited. I am off to bed. Spent all day today with Jacob and his class at Mont Cascade waterpark in Quebec - lots of sunscreen and fun!
Goodnight and I will leave you with the card Mom and Dad sent Jason:
The earth went around the sun again, and you made the full circle in good health. What a difference a year makes.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Father's Day to my Dad. Happy Father's Day to Jason. Happy Father's Day to all the Dads and kids that cannot be together this year. Happy Father's Day to all.
Thank you to the 5 miracle workers at JTFN. Without them this day would be so different. Instead Jacob is taking him on an interesting ride of activities. I will let you know how it turns out.
This week Jason has done and said stuff again that amazes me. He had an ear ache Friday morning but I had an appt so he just took off to the Montfort (that is where all the medical and dental care for DND has been moved to and Jason has never been there). An outer ear infection, just drops. But if someone had told me he would be able to do this a year ago it might have helped me out emotionally. It would have helped me, full stop. Now I know this sounds easy to most of you and it was easy for him. But that's the point. He was talkative in a social setting of 6 until 2 more people showed up but that's ok, he's getting there. He told me to stop babying him and asking him questions. He's been disciplining Jacob. I went to the MFRC AGM Thursday night and I left in a whirl and Jason had to take him to soccer. Now he had to find the sheet for soccer with the dates and fields on which is a feat for me but no problem for him. All these normal things have progressively made me feel better, made me relax, made me trust in this whole process. I know when Jason goes back to work that he'll be fine. We'll be OK. I can cry over that simple comment.
I am thinking about Unlce Ed, Don and Craig today too. Take care.
I wonder if my boys are ready to start the day????
Thank you to the 5 miracle workers at JTFN. Without them this day would be so different. Instead Jacob is taking him on an interesting ride of activities. I will let you know how it turns out.
This week Jason has done and said stuff again that amazes me. He had an ear ache Friday morning but I had an appt so he just took off to the Montfort (that is where all the medical and dental care for DND has been moved to and Jason has never been there). An outer ear infection, just drops. But if someone had told me he would be able to do this a year ago it might have helped me out emotionally. It would have helped me, full stop. Now I know this sounds easy to most of you and it was easy for him. But that's the point. He was talkative in a social setting of 6 until 2 more people showed up but that's ok, he's getting there. He told me to stop babying him and asking him questions. He's been disciplining Jacob. I went to the MFRC AGM Thursday night and I left in a whirl and Jason had to take him to soccer. Now he had to find the sheet for soccer with the dates and fields on which is a feat for me but no problem for him. All these normal things have progressively made me feel better, made me relax, made me trust in this whole process. I know when Jason goes back to work that he'll be fine. We'll be OK. I can cry over that simple comment.
I am thinking about Unlce Ed, Don and Craig today too. Take care.
I wonder if my boys are ready to start the day????
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time
Jason and I were looking at photos from that road trip to Yellowknife and our first few days there and we could not believe the changes in Jacob. He looks like an itty bitty boy. No front teeth. He looks small and needs his Mommy. Now he looks tall, strong, the beginnings of a man. It all does go by too fast. I want to slow it down.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Up, Up and Away!
Dena came for a visit this week so I got to accompany her and her sis-in-law on a shopping excursion to Place D'Orleans on Wednesday. It was so great to see her, I miss Dena and all my friends from home. We had a nice lunch and then more shopping. On Friday Jason and I met her and Lana for lunch - I must fill you in on the Perkins experience.
Jason and I got to the restaurant first and asked for a booth but all the booths were taken. So the young man telling us this also tells us he can put us on the list for a booth. I assume we are the only people on the list (b/c we are the only people waiting) and say "Sure". It took him a while to get our name right....Baters....Slaters....ah...Vaters. So he tells us as soon as one becomes available we will get it. So we wait for the booth and for Lana and Dena. A minute goes by and 2 guys walk in asking for a booth to a young woman employee who walks by. She says "Right this way" and I go to tell them there is no booth avaiable and say nah, they will figure that out in 2 seconds....wait a minute. She sat them in a booth! Oh no. No. No. No. Even Jason chimes in with me. We both look at each other. This is not happening. You know how I hate confrontation - Excuse me I say to the young man who insisted earlier on putting us on a "booth list". Your co-worker just sat 2 guys in our booth I say. He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. What can I do about it now he asks? Jason and I look at each other again. What can you do about it now? What can you do about it now? You go and tell your co-worker what she just did and work it out. You stop telling people they can go on the list and get a booth. You go a taking a flying leap into.....
Unbelievable. Anyways, shortly after that, a booth comes open and we are seated by another employee (that young guy wants nothing to do with us now). A nice guy brings the menus and tea we ordered. I ask for a nutriotional sheet listing the calories, fat, etc and he says he will look. No. No nutritional lists available. So I ask if they have one in the kitchen so I can take a quick look and give it back to them. No he replies without going into the kitchen to look. Ah. It's like that is it? I ask if there is any milk available for tea as there is only cream ont he table. He brings back a big joe jesus tub of milk. Ha. He wants nothing to so with me either. Dena and Lana show up and it's all good again.
We had a great weekend! Friday night we went and visited a very good friend and had supper with her and her new man. She had made lobster casserole for Jason and boy, did he enjoy it. I loved it too but jacob passed on it and had the chicken (he got sick after eating lobster in YK and cannot forget the memory). We had a very nice evening.
On Saturday Jacob and I went yard saling again. never saw anything but that's ok. We had a nice breakfast together and we talk alot while driving around and browsing other people's junk. He always tells me something personal on these trips so it's a good thing. Jason, Jacob and I head over to Scott and Helen's for a short visit, they are having a birthday/goodbye party as they are moving to Kingston in 2 weeks. We will have to visit them down there. They are wonderful people and their kids are adorable and Scott has been an amazing friend to Jason through all this. Then we head over to the Snooks for a BBQ, meet some new people, visit with their friends - great people - from Newfoundland mostly.
We all head out to the Russell Celtic fest and Shanneygannock (Shanneygannook?) were playing - excellent. It was pure joy for me to sit there and listen to Jason singing every song. His voice is much better which I didn't expect it to improve that much. It isn't as strong as it used to be but it is there. I lvoe listening to him sing and enjoying himself. Jacob moaned about it at first but of course he ended up dancing a bit, he played with the other boys that were there and he had a good time. Back to the Snooks for carrott cake - yum.
On Sunday we went and saw the move "Up". I think everyone should see this. I cried so many times throughout it, I was a hot mess. I sobbed at the end and Jacob was staring at me like I was an alien. He even told me he felt bad for me but I was so touched by the movie. It pulled at my heartstrings so many times. It is official. I am now a marshmellow.
Then we went to the Osmonds for supper and a last visit with Dena, her bro and family and of course Michelle and her crew. Charlotte is growing so fast and she is so adorable!! Connor hugged me so hard when we left - I love his I can hug you so hard hugs!
Read The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger if you need a good book. I could not put it down, Jason is reading it now and he likes it too. Best book I have read in a long time.
Jason and I got to the restaurant first and asked for a booth but all the booths were taken. So the young man telling us this also tells us he can put us on the list for a booth. I assume we are the only people on the list (b/c we are the only people waiting) and say "Sure". It took him a while to get our name right....Baters....Slaters....ah...Vaters. So he tells us as soon as one becomes available we will get it. So we wait for the booth and for Lana and Dena. A minute goes by and 2 guys walk in asking for a booth to a young woman employee who walks by. She says "Right this way" and I go to tell them there is no booth avaiable and say nah, they will figure that out in 2 seconds....wait a minute. She sat them in a booth! Oh no. No. No. No. Even Jason chimes in with me. We both look at each other. This is not happening. You know how I hate confrontation - Excuse me I say to the young man who insisted earlier on putting us on a "booth list". Your co-worker just sat 2 guys in our booth I say. He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. What can I do about it now he asks? Jason and I look at each other again. What can you do about it now? What can you do about it now? You go and tell your co-worker what she just did and work it out. You stop telling people they can go on the list and get a booth. You go a taking a flying leap into.....
Unbelievable. Anyways, shortly after that, a booth comes open and we are seated by another employee (that young guy wants nothing to do with us now). A nice guy brings the menus and tea we ordered. I ask for a nutriotional sheet listing the calories, fat, etc and he says he will look. No. No nutritional lists available. So I ask if they have one in the kitchen so I can take a quick look and give it back to them. No he replies without going into the kitchen to look. Ah. It's like that is it? I ask if there is any milk available for tea as there is only cream ont he table. He brings back a big joe jesus tub of milk. Ha. He wants nothing to so with me either. Dena and Lana show up and it's all good again.
We had a great weekend! Friday night we went and visited a very good friend and had supper with her and her new man. She had made lobster casserole for Jason and boy, did he enjoy it. I loved it too but jacob passed on it and had the chicken (he got sick after eating lobster in YK and cannot forget the memory). We had a very nice evening.
On Saturday Jacob and I went yard saling again. never saw anything but that's ok. We had a nice breakfast together and we talk alot while driving around and browsing other people's junk. He always tells me something personal on these trips so it's a good thing. Jason, Jacob and I head over to Scott and Helen's for a short visit, they are having a birthday/goodbye party as they are moving to Kingston in 2 weeks. We will have to visit them down there. They are wonderful people and their kids are adorable and Scott has been an amazing friend to Jason through all this. Then we head over to the Snooks for a BBQ, meet some new people, visit with their friends - great people - from Newfoundland mostly.
We all head out to the Russell Celtic fest and Shanneygannock (Shanneygannook?) were playing - excellent. It was pure joy for me to sit there and listen to Jason singing every song. His voice is much better which I didn't expect it to improve that much. It isn't as strong as it used to be but it is there. I lvoe listening to him sing and enjoying himself. Jacob moaned about it at first but of course he ended up dancing a bit, he played with the other boys that were there and he had a good time. Back to the Snooks for carrott cake - yum.
On Sunday we went and saw the move "Up". I think everyone should see this. I cried so many times throughout it, I was a hot mess. I sobbed at the end and Jacob was staring at me like I was an alien. He even told me he felt bad for me but I was so touched by the movie. It pulled at my heartstrings so many times. It is official. I am now a marshmellow.
Then we went to the Osmonds for supper and a last visit with Dena, her bro and family and of course Michelle and her crew. Charlotte is growing so fast and she is so adorable!! Connor hugged me so hard when we left - I love his I can hug you so hard hugs!
Read The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger if you need a good book. I could not put it down, Jason is reading it now and he likes it too. Best book I have read in a long time.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Basal Cell Carcinoma - the "good" cancer
What a week we are having again.....as the title suggests I got diagnosed with skin cancer this week. But it's the "good cancer" and I quote my dermatologist here. If you are going to have cancer then you want this one. Well to be frank I did not want either one but here I am. Those hot frequent burning days of summer growing up in central Newfoundland have come back to haunt me. Well, they were not that frequent. But there was no SPF anything back then and because I am so fair, I did burn. I have never tanned. She biopsied the spot we both thought was cancer and she burned 2 more spots on my forehead with liquid nitrogen. Now the liquid nitrogen burning was not that bad and the spots were small. She then told me to lie down and while she got her needle ready I braced myself. She said it would burn more than anything and boy did it. But then the freezing was instant so it was OK. She biopsied the spot then continued to cut outside the margins to get it all. The results came back this week. I now have to visit her every 6 months. Whew. She told me that no one approaching 40 who is as fair as I am will escape this diagnosis by a well trained professional.
I had the Sears guy come see my brand new stove and look at my 8 spots of rust on my oven liner. At first he said he could not see anything. So of course I ahd to point them all out to him. Men. He said yes, that's a problem but I have never seen that before. Hmmm. I had a stove 10 years ago that did the same thing but was alot cheaper. I hope I won't have trouble with this, I did last time and I don't want to fight about something so obvious.
The guy was supposed to come and inspect the house for the warranty and he did not show up. A nice guy but needs to be reliable. Hopefully I will hear from him soon.
I also did not find out about the job I interviewed for....I got an email stating that she they were sorry. I did not want to read the rest but I did. She then went on to say how sorry they were that they could not let us know this week but we should all know by Wednesday next week. I want that job.
Jacob had 2 great games of soccer this week, his team won both games. He also won 3 first place ribbons at track and field yesterday for his school - the 100m, 200m and 400m were his races. He will go on to compete in the regionals because of his quickness. He also got a third in the high jump.
Jacob and I went yard saling this morning and he found a brand new shirt and then cut a hole in it while trying to cut the tag off. Hopefully we can fix it. We also went to the Metcalfe farmer's market - very nice and to the Hot Cup of Cafe in Russell for breakfast. After that Jacob sat in the car while I ran into the library for 5 mins. When I came out Jacob told me a teenager got in the car parked ahead of us and then he backed into the car, shaking Jacob and then he took off! I called the police. Jacob did not get a plate number but he will be in the lookout for now on, we will see this guy again. A very nice police officer came to my door this evening to look at the car (just some scratched) and ask how Jacob was doing. How nice!
We also visited with the Snooks, went to Artic Cat shop in Metcalfe and went to the grocery store. Jacob and I had a busy day.
Jason stayed home - he would have made a better witness, plus he could have practiced memorization - a bonus to being a witness to a crime. The police officer told me if it is over $1000 damage then she would have called it officially a hit and run and looked for this guy. I just wish he had got out of his car, looked at my car, asked Jacob if he was ok and talked to me. I would have waved him off and said no big deal. Why don't people do that anymore?
Jacob went to the dance Friday night and had a great time. One more left! His best friend comes from YK the end of this month and he was hoping to take him to a dance but I don't think that will happen. Oh well, I am sure they will have fun doing tons of other things. Jacob is so excited!
I am starting to get a lot of moments with Jason now that feel familiar, like old times. Improvements are still a week to week thing. Amazing. he makes me laugh more than ever and we are starting to connect more often as a couple and I see that between him and Jacob too. His computer skills are coming back to him and his knowledge is too. Neuroplasticity is a wonderful thing.
I had the Sears guy come see my brand new stove and look at my 8 spots of rust on my oven liner. At first he said he could not see anything. So of course I ahd to point them all out to him. Men. He said yes, that's a problem but I have never seen that before. Hmmm. I had a stove 10 years ago that did the same thing but was alot cheaper. I hope I won't have trouble with this, I did last time and I don't want to fight about something so obvious.
The guy was supposed to come and inspect the house for the warranty and he did not show up. A nice guy but needs to be reliable. Hopefully I will hear from him soon.
I also did not find out about the job I interviewed for....I got an email stating that she they were sorry. I did not want to read the rest but I did. She then went on to say how sorry they were that they could not let us know this week but we should all know by Wednesday next week. I want that job.
Jacob had 2 great games of soccer this week, his team won both games. He also won 3 first place ribbons at track and field yesterday for his school - the 100m, 200m and 400m were his races. He will go on to compete in the regionals because of his quickness. He also got a third in the high jump.
Jacob and I went yard saling this morning and he found a brand new shirt and then cut a hole in it while trying to cut the tag off. Hopefully we can fix it. We also went to the Metcalfe farmer's market - very nice and to the Hot Cup of Cafe in Russell for breakfast. After that Jacob sat in the car while I ran into the library for 5 mins. When I came out Jacob told me a teenager got in the car parked ahead of us and then he backed into the car, shaking Jacob and then he took off! I called the police. Jacob did not get a plate number but he will be in the lookout for now on, we will see this guy again. A very nice police officer came to my door this evening to look at the car (just some scratched) and ask how Jacob was doing. How nice!
We also visited with the Snooks, went to Artic Cat shop in Metcalfe and went to the grocery store. Jacob and I had a busy day.
Jason stayed home - he would have made a better witness, plus he could have practiced memorization - a bonus to being a witness to a crime. The police officer told me if it is over $1000 damage then she would have called it officially a hit and run and looked for this guy. I just wish he had got out of his car, looked at my car, asked Jacob if he was ok and talked to me. I would have waved him off and said no big deal. Why don't people do that anymore?
Jacob went to the dance Friday night and had a great time. One more left! His best friend comes from YK the end of this month and he was hoping to take him to a dance but I don't think that will happen. Oh well, I am sure they will have fun doing tons of other things. Jacob is so excited!
I am starting to get a lot of moments with Jason now that feel familiar, like old times. Improvements are still a week to week thing. Amazing. he makes me laugh more than ever and we are starting to connect more often as a couple and I see that between him and Jacob too. His computer skills are coming back to him and his knowledge is too. Neuroplasticity is a wonderful thing.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Computer error
So I had written a fairly long entry when all of a sudden my computer kicked me out and eradicated my entry in one fell swoop. So quite honestly I cannot write all of that again. I have been having problems with my right wrist, I think I have carpel tunnel again (I had it years ago) so bear with me - the short version is still in me.
Sunday before last - Deidre, Ben and Vivi arrived and visited for 2 days - finally got to meet Vivi!! Adorable, sweet, could eat her.
Tuesday - soccer game - we love watching Jacob play. Jason got invited to help with the practice portion - I enjoyed watching him hit a soccer ball! Darn. Forgot camera. Oh well.
Thursday - had job interview with Canadian Forces Military Family Services - job is Policy/Program Director for adult education/health care/childcare for MFRC's across Canada. Wrote test at 8:30am - which was really "design an outline and report (350 words) in 40-50 mins, include methodology/tools/outline of report. My report was 350 words exactly. I hope it was OK, I was satisfied. Interview was 80 mins long, went well, I liked my interviewees. One question was "describe your most stressful moment". Hmmmmm. Let me see.....
Friday night - date night. Went out with neighbours (6 of us) to see Angels and Demons and to dinner. Wonderful time. Why don't we do this more often??
Saturday - went to the Hillier's for a BBQ - lovely time and got to meet Pete's brother Mark. Meagan is still a knockout and Sean has a faux hawk. Too cute. Saturday night when Jason came to bed I was almost asleep. Jason was talking away to me which he hasn't done much this year so I was like "wake up and listen Lisa". So we talked and then when he stopped I fell back to sleep. Cannot remember what he said but was happy we had that conversation regardless.
Sunday - laundry, cleaning up, grocery shopping for me. Jason took Jacob to see Terminator Salvation - they liked it. Jacob was concerned going with his Dad alone. I told him everything would be fine. In my head I thought "they haven;t sone something like this since last June and I understand". They had fun and Jacob is getting more confidence in his Dad. I know seeing his Dad last summer in that hospital bed is etched in his mind too. Asking me if he is going to be OK and me not being able to tell him "yes" is also etched in his brain. It will take time. I wanted to cry when he told me his concerns and then I wanted to cry out of happiness wihen they got back and both told me they had a good time.
Sunday before last - Deidre, Ben and Vivi arrived and visited for 2 days - finally got to meet Vivi!! Adorable, sweet, could eat her.
Tuesday - soccer game - we love watching Jacob play. Jason got invited to help with the practice portion - I enjoyed watching him hit a soccer ball! Darn. Forgot camera. Oh well.
Thursday - had job interview with Canadian Forces Military Family Services - job is Policy/Program Director for adult education/health care/childcare for MFRC's across Canada. Wrote test at 8:30am - which was really "design an outline and report (350 words) in 40-50 mins, include methodology/tools/outline of report. My report was 350 words exactly. I hope it was OK, I was satisfied. Interview was 80 mins long, went well, I liked my interviewees. One question was "describe your most stressful moment". Hmmmmm. Let me see.....
Friday night - date night. Went out with neighbours (6 of us) to see Angels and Demons and to dinner. Wonderful time. Why don't we do this more often??
Saturday - went to the Hillier's for a BBQ - lovely time and got to meet Pete's brother Mark. Meagan is still a knockout and Sean has a faux hawk. Too cute. Saturday night when Jason came to bed I was almost asleep. Jason was talking away to me which he hasn't done much this year so I was like "wake up and listen Lisa". So we talked and then when he stopped I fell back to sleep. Cannot remember what he said but was happy we had that conversation regardless.
Sunday - laundry, cleaning up, grocery shopping for me. Jason took Jacob to see Terminator Salvation - they liked it. Jacob was concerned going with his Dad alone. I told him everything would be fine. In my head I thought "they haven;t sone something like this since last June and I understand". They had fun and Jacob is getting more confidence in his Dad. I know seeing his Dad last summer in that hospital bed is etched in his mind too. Asking me if he is going to be OK and me not being able to tell him "yes" is also etched in his brain. It will take time. I wanted to cry when he told me his concerns and then I wanted to cry out of happiness wihen they got back and both told me they had a good time.
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