Driving and acting

Jason had another lesson today. His instructor told him he'd need 3 more and he has seen improvement in Jason's driving so that is a positive sign. Jason was happy with that result although I still think he thinks this is just a pain in his butt. Fair enough.
I had a spot on my forehead that my doc figured was skin cancer so she burned it off and yes it hurt. Now I have a new spot but I am not sure if it is the same or just harmless so I am getting her to check it tomorrow. I am vigilant about this. Jacob has to have a plantars wart burned off tomorrow so I figure hey 2 for 1.
Jason has another lesson tomorrow. And I guess he'll book his next 3 lessons then too. The orthotic guy was happy with his feet so I have booked a Physio appt at NDMC so Jason can fill out paperwork for his second set of orthotics (for his combat boots). The prednisone is working for his gouty toe. He is having a good week so far.
I tried painting the chip on the truck but I made a mess of it. I knew that would happen. And it never warmed up enough for it to dry so hopefully I will be able to put the clear coat on it tomorrow. If it doesn't rain again. I also notice a big mark on the hood. The rock had actually hit there first and then it hit next to the windshield which explains why it didn't hit the windshield directly. We were lucky.
Jacob is going to be in the Easter school play. He is "Man in crowd". He wants to crucify Jesus and he screams this to Pilate. His first starring role in a school play and he is trying to have Jesus killed - I am so proud. Makes a tear form in the corner of my eye. It is sure to be an Oscar winning performance ( at the very least a Golden Globe).

Birthday and Birthday Party

On Friday as I was driving in to Ottawa a big rock flew up in front of me (kicked up by the car ahead) and hit us with a bang! My heart was up in my throat and I thought for sure it had hit the windshield (because that is fairly new) and I did not see anything. Where did it hit us? Anyway it was a big enough fright. When we got to the General I got out and checked and it had hit the left side on the steel part holding the windshield. There is a big dent and a big paint chip out. I am grateful it did not hit the windshield. I got a paint stick at Nissan and now that it is raining I will ahve to wait for good weather to use my "artistic skills".
At the brain doc's, Dr. Marshall was happy with Jason's progress and is getting a referral for a reassessment of Jason in the hopes he will get the go ahead to go back to work. This will all take time but it is progressing. He thought that Jason having to do driving lessons was a good lesson for him. He is not the same as he was before the heart attack. He will need to spend extra time and attention to detail that he took for granted in the past. And that doing the lessons is a lesson in reality. I think he's right - Jason needed a shot of humility. To realize how serious the situation is in that it has changed him. Not better, not worse, just different. I am trying to adjust as well and I am learning too. I asked him all my questions including the alcohol factor. Jason thinks for some strange man reason that in social situations it is ok to have a drink. And it is. But only one. Not two, not three. Just one. Jason is taking 2 blood thinners to let his heart take it easy for a while. Adding a third is not a wise move. So Dr. Marshall and his team backeed my side of course. I think Jason thought I was trying to keep him from alcohol (like I used to do before June 23rd - who wants to deal with a tipsy 310 lb man? Not me). He also wanted to be social, to be "normal", to feel like nothing has happened (I wish I could forget sometimes too). And he is only like this every now and again, just wanting to do the social thing. That's OK. Just one social drink. There is non-alcoholic wine, beer, etc. I may have to get the best of that selection and have it around in future. But the doc was happy with his progress and Jason was more talkative than he has ever been within that office. I was so happy and reassured by that.
Then we had to head over to the Heart Institute and see Dr. Klett. She had good news! Jason's good cholesterol was up and his bad cholesterol was down to exactly where she wanted it! The change in his drugs was working, as well as his diet and exercise. Jason woke up with a gout toe and I asked her if she would prescribe predisone as per the rheumatologist's instructions and she did. She shook his hand when we left and said their job was done, the military cardiologist was in charge and hopefully she would not see him again, unless in a social setting. The Heart Institute gets you to where they want you and then they release you so that they can help people less healthy. Yipppeeee.
Then we headed for NDMC for his prescription filling and I was glad his foot would start feeling better by the weekend. So was he.
We got home and set up the house for Jacob's party. His friends got here around 5pm and had Jason's pizza and my cake and Jacob opened his presents - thank you! Then LEGO MAN came and set up his LEGO and all the kids made different items such as a paper crimpler and a robot that they could battle with - this guy is amazing and we enjoyed watching them too! After that they headed to the dance to burn off the cake and pop! A great night. Thanks Dennis for driving!!
Saturday morning we went to a hockey game in Russell, Sean was playing. Then we headed into Orleans and had lunch with Keith, Michelle and the kiddies at the Barley Mow. Yum. What a nice lunch! We headed to Farm Boy and then Toy's R Us and Jacob bought more LEGO (surprise!).
At home we set up for Jason's birthday supper. Lana and Jean brought the chili and we had the buns and salad and Lana's chili was delicious - thank you you guys!! Kim, Maggie and Liam came over for cake. Dennis, Tracy and kids dropped by too as did Tony and Denise. What a great evening with friends! What a great day with friends!!
Today it poured rain here so we did not go anywhere. I am still in my pj's!!!

Good friends and good cake

Jason had his second driving lesson yesterday and he said it went better than the first one and the instructor had less to say (a rundown of what needs improving) at the end of the lesson. Two more lessons next week!
Today there is a brain doc appointment and a cardiologist appointment so I am armed with my questions. Hopefully I will get all the answers. I am getting much more efficient at this. Thank god.
Tonight is Jacob's birthday party - he wants Jason's pizza and my chocolate cake to eat. So I made the cake last night and our new oven did very well. I have been making this Hershey's choclate cake for years. It is easy and simple and Jacob just loves it. The icing was also a success which sometimes does not work out (no idea why). I bought the ingredients for the pizza yesterday so that is ready. I also bought some plates, cups, napkins etc. The candles are ready and I even made loot bags (I think this is my last year for loot bags. Is that normal?). While making the cake I realized I needed some ingredients I was out of or low on so on my way to GT Boutique I dropped in on Teresa to see what she was up to and if she needed anything there. Well she had just made cookies so I had a warm chocolate chip cookie - yum! and then she gave me Jacob's b-day present (he will be happy) and when she found out I had sugar on my grocery list she handed me a bag (she had bought some bags on sale last week) - how nice! Teresa and Tom and the kids - I do not know what I'd do without them! Tom did me a big favor the other night (don't put your mind in the gutter) and I am so glad I have them had friends.
So after going to GT and then Independent I got all the stuff I needed to finish the cake. Jacob was impressed when it was done. So from 5-6 pm they eat. I have LEGO man coming from 6-8pm to do a birthday LEGO workshop with the kids (I think there will be 8 here in total) and then I will take them to the dance in Russell from 8-10 pm where their parents can pick them up. Sounds good? I jsut hope it works out. Sometimes what's on paper is not what actually occurs. We'll see.
Jennifer called me last night and told me they had looked at a house in YK. Turns out it is the house of friends of ours - nice house! They bought it last night - Congrats you guys!!! It is a great house and the boys will love it.

Helping Others

Here are 2 of the military funds that helped us out last year. I had no idea they were in place and were available to us until June 24th. The Canadian military took care of us so successfully - JTFN is a family, not just a Joint Task Force. If you would like to donate to a cause and you were not sure what - here are my two suggestions:

1) Donate money to the CF Hospital Comforts Program: This program ensures that all members of the CF who find themselves hospitalized for longer than 48 hours will have access to telephone, television and internet services for the duration of their stay. In addition the program will provide funds to ensure that hospitalized members are able to buy toiletries and canteen items such as books and movie rentals while they are recovering. Should you wish to donate to this program, cheques should be made payable to the "CFCF in trust for the Canadian Forces Hospital Comforts Program" and mailed to:CF Hospital Comforts ProgramCanadian Forces Personnel Support Agency4210 Labelle Street Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2 A receipt for tax purposes will be issued if requested.
Jason had books to read and toiletry items while staying at the hospital. Which is a good thing because I forgot to pack any as I was runnning around like a chicken with my head cut off at the time.

2) Military Families Fund: The fund is agile and responsive and focuses on an aim that is two-fold. It is a mechanism for raising funds through the support of Canadians and a mechanism to distribute funds to Canadian Forces families who find themselves in unique situations. Base Commanders, partnered with Military Family Resource Centres across the country, will be able to assist military families within hours of being advised of a need.For more information, visit www.militaryfamiliesfund.ca.
Audrey and Roland and I were each given a prepaid credit card from this fund to purchase what we needed while we were in Edmonton - a god send. I did not pack for myself properly either in YK. I forgot my toothbrush, deodorant, toothpaste - everything toiletry so this was a very kind gift to us. We appreciated this so much.
I never thought we were going to be one of the families that needed these funds. I had donated to the Military Family Resource Centre in the past but now I have 2 new places to donate too as well. Thank you.

Jason took his first driving lesson yesterday and he said he did not mention his pseed (he had slowed down) except for on the turns (still too fast). The driving instructor also said he wasn't scanning enough (looking in rear view, side mirrors, over shoulder) - he should do it more often that what he is doing so he practiced that as well. Another lesson today!

Jacob went to Cubs last night to race his 2 cars - the weighted and un-weighted. His weighted car from YK won first place and his unweighted car won third place! He was happily surprised his unweighted car placed.

I had a bad day yesterday. I was upset early on for what I thought was no reason. and it stayed with me all day but I figured it out last night. So hopefully today will be a better one!

On being 11 and 38

Jacob turned 11 years old yesterday. Now I know that your children have tuened 11 or will tirn 11 but do you ever stop to think "How did this happen?". I cannot believe I have an 11 year old. I am young, feel like I did when I was 17 so how did this happen? Everyone talks about how fast time goes and I know it to be true. Jacob opened all his cards and gifts yesterday morning before school - he thanks everyone! He wanted to take homemade Hershey chocolate chip cookies for his classmates so heand I made them the night before. Of course after he got home he wondered why I made him go to school on his birthday. ha I have never had to do that so I guess I don't understand. For supper he wanted real meat on his nachos (not veggies, not chicken) and a cherry cola which he had and then we took a cheesecake and went over to Denise and Tony's to have dessert. I am making a cake for his party on Friday night.
Jason is going for his first driving lesson today. He was up at 3am, couldn't sleep. I am sure he is a bit nervous about this. He hasn't had a lesson ever, except when his Mom or Dad took him out in the car a few times when he was 17 years old. And he knew everything back then, he was 17 for Chris' sakes. He knew way more than his parents. Now almost being 38 (this Saturday!) and having to have driving lessons must be a bit disconcerting. I just hope he makes peace with it and enjoys it. We'll see.
It's been over 9 months since Jason had his heart attack - one benefit to time moving along.

Birthdays

Jason told me he was glad to be here for Jacob's birthday tomorrow. I am too happy to cry. I am so happy he will there for his 11th birthday as well. You all know this. I am also happy he's just here. It is that simple.

Crazy Busy!

This week has gone by so fast! March break is here!!! On Monday Jason saw a rheumatologist - nice man. He thinks Jason is experiencing a chronic type of gout so it is different than before. He had to go and get a blood test and will see him again in 2 months. He wants to design an effective way to treat the gout that will not affect his other medications. He did say that prednisone is the best route starting with 35 mg the first day of symptoms and decreasing every day by 5 mg for 7 days. So that's what we'll ask for if he has an outbreak between now and the next appt with Dr. Arthritis.
We went and saw Paul Blart Mall Cop with Jacob. I think I found it funnier than he did. I love Kevin James.
Tuesday we headed to Kingston for a 2 day break. I fretted over taking this trip. What if Jason forgets his medication? What if something happens to Jason? Jacob has gotten a reprieve from me worrying ever since June 23rd of last year. It is funny how I worry about my husband now instead of my son. Not that I do not worry about Jacob but you know what I mean. SO the first half -n-hour of our drive consisted of me turning around and saying I can't go to Kingston. I had a headache so that did not help and I did not know if I could drive the 2 hours anyways plus I was still worrying about taking Jason out of our routine. I know I was cracked but that's me. Poor Jacob was in the backseat wondering if I was having a nervous breakdown and all he wanted me to do was either drive east to Kingston or west back to the house.
Jason told me to suck it up and drive so that was what I did, god love him. And we got to visit with Dan, Joanna and the kids, Herb and Wendy, Leslie and Martha (from Barriefield Blossoms, Martha now owns her own place - In Bloom) and it was wonderful to see old friends. We stayed the first night at the Ambassador - Jacob enjoyed the water slide to the fullest! and we spent the next night at Dan and Joanna's - thanks you guys!! We hadn't seen them in over 2 years! And I hadn't seen Martha and Leslie in over 4 years!
When we got back we were all tired but happy that we got away. I have got to relax more. I have had nightmares almost every night this week, some nights I am having 2 or more of them. I know I am worrying too much and my chest is hurting again. I have got to let that go. Getting away is good but stressful for me to but I will learn to adapt. Jacob was so glad we went to Kingston. And Jason was too!
Jason helped our next door neighbour today with his basement - doing the ceiling, finishing the basement and there was a spring in his step today. He even asked Ken if he needed help tomorrow so that's a good sign! I had my sis-in-law on the phone for over 2 hours today helping me with our taxes - I think we may both pay in - gross!! I am still crunching numbers so who knows? Thank you Brenda!!!
Plenty of birthdays coming and going....my brother Fred had a birthday on Thursday! He is older than me of course so that is worth mentioing, ha. My younger bro and his wife had a beautiful baby boy - Liam - on Thursday morning!!! Two Rowe men will celebrate on the same day next year. Congrats to Tina, Shayne, Kyle and Troy!! I have another nephew who we all can't wait to see when we go home for a visit!
Jacob's b-day is Tuesday - turning 11!! Jason's b-day is Saturday!! Party on!!!!!!!!!!!

Report card and nurse

Jacob came home on Friday with his report card - 14 A's and 2 B+'s (there are three marks for both languages). He was hoping for all A's, I think he thought he was getting some money if he got all A's. I asked him if he was proud of his accomplishments and he said yes. I told him that is the reward. And we were proud of him too. He went to the dance that night and had the best night ever.
Yesterday a military liason nurse who worked with us in Edmonton called to say she was in Vars visiting a friend. We met her for coffee in Russell in Hot Cup Cafe - it was so good to see her! And to see her out of uniform. It was surreal to be talking to her casually over lunch in Russell after what we went through together in Edmonton. She has seen me at my most stressed and she still wanted to visit. ha It is so great to stay in touch with all of the helpful people we have come in contact with during all of this.

Jason had bloodwork done this morning and his INR test was all good. Good news. The brain doc booking lady called too and now he has appointment to see him near the end of the month so that's good too. A check up is always a good thing. He also got a dental check up booked this morning for April. Things are going....
I saw the social worker this morning as well. She is so great. And that hour that I vent to her is wonderful. She listens and then points out what I am saying. Everyone needs a social worker in their lives. I see the fascination people have with psychatrists. I totally get it now.
The Rodden-Aubuts are coming for supper tonight so we are looking forward to that! Jason is cooking so I am looking forward to that too. Jacob is going to the dance tonight so there will be more stories tomorrow. I am going to try and book a holiday for us to Newfoundland. I also have to try and find a projector. I wish money grew on trees. Nix that. We have no trees in our yard. I wish money grew on blades of grass. Then I could just mulch it up with the lawnmower and deposit it at the bank in a paper bag.
I am going in that general direction so now I am going all the way. I dreamt this morning that our basement was leaking and the water was dripping in silently under our stairs in the basement. We have a cubby hole under the stairs (where Harry Potter could live if he had to) and all sorts of stuff is stored in there and if there was a leak no one would find it for a while. So when I woke up I had to find the flashlight and crawl in there and move boxes out until I could make sure the insulation, walls and floor was dry in that corner. Paranoid or what? I told Jason about my dream and he said it would be scarier if there was water in there on the floor. he is OK with me being paranoid.

Job

A job that I have given myself is looking for a job. That said I have been actively looking and applying for positions but I have not heard back from anything unless it was a "funding fell through" letter. I applied again for another one today. I saw a job for a horticulturist in a cemetary last month and I would love to do that job - plants and cemeteries - the job has my name all over it but it doesn't pay well. A girl can dream I guess. Any ideas about fabulous jobs in Ottawa?
Jason's foot is a bit better again today and he seemed more perky (yes I am using that word to describe him) today. He made supper tonight and did a wonderful job - butter chicken, basmati rice and naan bread - yummy!
I went with Jacob's class skating again today. Great fun. Watching him interact with his class does my heart and soul a world of good even if I am cramping his style.

I am back.

A lot has gone since I last wrote. I have not been myself for many reasons since I last wrote. While Audrey and Roland were here I realized how much I missed them. But I also started looking at Jason through their eyes. That was not a good thing for me. I saw the stress in Audrey's eyes at times and I became stressed. I managed to figure out what was wrong and what I was doing was not helping anyone. I wish I hadn't done it but it was a learning experience. And then I felt bad for Audrey and Roland because they did not get the true me this whole visit. Audrey was sick for most of the week and then I became sick so that did not help. It was so wonderful having them here. It was so wonderful each night going to bed knowing that Jason was happier because they were here. Jacob enjoyed them so much. Roland did lots of things we needed done around the house, Audrey cooked us delicious meals and bread! I do have the best in laws. Our relationship has changed to say the least but it is deeper.
Jason had a surprise visitor last Thursday - Ron D. came to visit. Ron was in Cornwall for work and we hadn't seen him since June 23rd. Ron helped save Jason's life so having eat at our table that evening and seeing Jason's face light up was pure joy. We got updated on the crowd in Yellowknife and being able to hug Ron and thank him was a gift. He helped give me back my husband, bring back Jacob's father, return a son to Audrey and Roland. Thank you to everyone in JTFN, I can never say it enough.
On Saturday Michelle, Lee and the girls drove from Barrie to visit us! It was so wonderful to see them and the girls have grown - so beautiful. I would lock them up if they were mine. We have a good time we them and it was great to hear all their stories. We are grateful for family. Jacob really enjoyed them - he hasn't stopped talking about his cousins.
Roalnd and Audrey left Sunday morning, it was hard to see them go. We have to go home within the next 4 months. I miss Newfoundland even more now. I wish we lived closer to our families. I have a new niece or nephew coming soon and I wish I was there. Jacob is close to all his grandparents and his 2 uncles and aunts and he needs them too. We are lucky to have a good relationship with all of them. It's a balance but I think we all work on it with love. When it is all said and done family is worth it.
Without friends where would we be? Today we were having tea at Kim's and they were going out to Montana's for supper and invited us along. We had such a nice time together and then Ken invited Jason to go see the Watchmen movie and Jason really wanted to see that. How nice is that? Kim and I took the kids to Chapters for a bit. There was a bit of a bathroom gross out moment (it did not involve us - thank god) but the kids love potty humour. I do too (to be honest).
Jacob got a call from his best friend in Yellowknife tonight and his Mom won a trip for two to Ottawa (radio contest)! Jacob was so happy and excited when he was on the phone and after he got off he screamed with joy! What great news! He misses his friend so much and now he has his visit to look forward too. Good timing because he was missing his Nan and Pop and now he has another great visitor lined up. So maybe in the begnning of July they will be here!

Jason slept in yesterday, good for the brain and body. Roland went outside and tuned up and summerized our sleds. Both batteries were frozen. I was supposed to put them in the garage before winter came - notes for next year. Now I hope I can remember to buy new batteries in the fall. Roland had a little buzz around the yard on Jason's snowmobile. Next year we will be on those machines every weekend there is good snow. I look forward to that.
That afternoon Audrey and I made our way into Ottawa. She bought paint for Jacob to paint his new Kub Car (the one without the weights). She bought a top and a pair of shoes too - very nice. We had a coffee, dessert and a chat before we can home - a nice afternoon. Warmer than usual too.
Tonight Jason and I went out to a movie while our babysitter's wrangked our son. I think a good time was had by all.

COLD - I think we brought it from YK!

Yesterday and lately it has been cold. No, not -40 degrees but -20's and -30's with the wind and it is icy. It blows through your bones. Now that didn't stop Roland and Jason from walking in it yesterday but it stopped Audrey and I. Audrey has has sinus problems ever since she landed and this is the first time she has ever had a problem flying. Mom and I go through this almost every time we fly. I feel so bad because I know how painful it can be.
Yesterday we went an dwatched Jacob skating at the rink (his class went). He spent more time on the ice than he did skating I think but he had fun. Of course when he came off the ice we were cramping his style I think. I tried giving him kisses as the class left to go back to school but he wasn't having any of that. ha
Jason is still his quiet self. This may be our new reality. I have started getting used to it. Will I ever get used to it fully? Maybe. I do miss his chatty self but if this is the personality change that I have to contend with then it is a very mild one. He still can make me laugh out loud, his wit and sarcasm are still there. And that's the main thing. What are we as a couple without sarcasm? It has been the basis of our relationship.
His foot is better again. I hope this flare up is over for now. The Rheumatologist called the other day and he has his first appt during March break so we won't be going very far that week. This foot problem is important to his well being.
Oh, I also forgot to mention that driving back from Orleans to here through the farm fields I was travelling along doing 104 km/h in an 80 km/h zone. How do I know this? With my in-laws in the back I had a policeman turn on his lights and pull me over. He was very nice and I told him I have never gotten a speeding ticket and now I have my in-laws as witnesses to my first one! I was nice, he was friendly. He checked me out and came back with a by-law ticket saying I had ignored a sign (it does not mention that it was a speed sign) instead of a speeding ticket. My insurance won't be affected and I should slow down. How nice is that?? I really thought I was going to get a $200 fine or so because it has been a year of firsts for me and I figured why not this too? But he was a very nice guy and gave me a break. Whew.

Home Improvement

Yesterday morning Roland and Jason put up my curtain rods and curtains (I finally found curtains!) in the living room (Mom I will post pics to Facebook). It seems odd to have them there now. I find myself looking at them way too much.
Then we headed to Home Depot for a longer Icemaker stainless steel hose for the refrigerator. You can get these hoses in 12 inches, 24 inches and 10 feet! Why the jump? No idea. But I called a number of places and everyone had the same stuff. So I bought that one and Roland hooked up the water to the fridge and tied the hose up in the back so it wasn't all over the place and stuck it to the back of the fridge. In 24 hours we will have ice and water!
We invited Tony and Denise and Colton (Staci had dance) over for Audrey's fish cakes for supper (they brough fish with them!) and they were delicious! Jacob loves his Nan's fish cakes. I made home made baked onion rings with a mango curry dip (all low in fat!) and Denise and Tony brought the wine and dessert - excellent meal. Thanks you guys.
Jason's foot is still tender so no exercise on that. Hopefully it will feel better today or tomorrow.
I went to bed at 9:30 pm last night because I was up the night before. Last night I woke at 11:56pm, 2:22am, 3:10am, and at 4:15am. During that time I listened to Jacob talk in his sleep, Jason breathing, I checked on the icemaker, read the book for the icemaker and found out you should not use it with a water softener unless you absolutely have to (which I do because I have one and if we had no water softener I would ruin my dishwasher, clothese washer and hot water tank) - oh well. I may have to change the filter more often. C'est la vie. I checked around outside thinking maybe my body is telling me danger is lurking outside and that is why I am up so often. Nope not that. I did check the patio door and I had left that unlocked -oops! Maybe that is why I kept waking up. Who knows? But 2 bad night's sleeps in a row is not a good thing for me. I was just getting used to sleeping well. I am so happy to have Audrey and Roland here so I don't get it.

In-Laws and a visit with the Hilliers

Yesterday we headed into Ottawa to pick up Roland who was coming from Deer Lake and just as we entered the airport he was coming down the escalator. Perfect timing! It was so good to see him. We grabbed up his suitcase and bag and headed to the Hilliers. Theresa had put on a spread that would impress a caterer. Such wonderful friends. Audrey was coming from Calgary so her flight didn't get in until 6pm so we visited until then and headed back to the airport to pick her up. I love my in-laws so it is a joy to have them back after 5 months. Time can fly by can't it?
Jason is so happy to have them here. Jacob of course is estatic. Now he wants to know if he can take Friday off because they are only here a week. ha I am going to call his teacher and see if it's OK.
Jason's foot is still a little tender, another bout. But we both think it may be arthritis, not gout. So he is managing the pain with some Tylenol. I sw him run after Jacob for the first time (just playing) and he didn't mention his foot then so that's a good sign. This should be a great week!