Why can I remember so much and then forget such important things that should really stick in my brain? Jacob has a doctor's appointment yesterday and I totally forgot about it. Even though I reminded myself all week about it and then comes Saturday and poof! Gone. I kept reminding myself all week because it was on a Saturday (not many appts on that day usually) but it didn't come to me until 6:30am today! Now all I can think about is calling his doc and begging forgiveness and hopefully he can get another appointment soon. It's not for any thing urgent but as you know, I have successfully made a number of trips to doctor's appts in the past while so I am horrified that I forgot about this one.
Again, why am I so hard on myself? I am my own worst enemy. I wish I was not like this. I used to think everyone was like this but then I met Jason. He does not beat himself up about much and he is happier because of it. Why can't I do that????
This is my last day of 10 days of antibiotics - I had a sinus infection due to the cold/viral flu I had over 3 weeks ago. I hope that stays away now. Jacob is feeling fine and Jason got both flu shots a while back.
Now I have to remember all doc appts, Christmas shop, clean, work like crazy (I love it but we are busy) and throw some shindigs so I can visit with friends and relax at the same time. There is my 6 week plan in a nut shell. Short term but hell, maybe then I can remember it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sick but still loving life
There has been a lot of sickness in the Vaters household these past two weeks. Jacob had H1N1 and after getting over that he contracted another virus (more mild) but he had to stay home from school again. My doc could not confirm if I had H1N1 but it hit me like a ton of bricks, kept me home from work for a week and I am feeling the after effects now.
The only bright light to this story is that Jason did not come down with anything. Now I think this is because I waited on Jacob hand and foot when he was battling H1N1 and thus I got it too. I have to say I was scared one of those night because his fever was so high. I called Telehealth and the nurse told me what to do, when to call 911, I even had her listen to him breathing while he was asleep. Not a good feeling.
My sinuses have been really affected by all of this and will not heal up. Hopefully next week will be a better week for that.
Jason has doc appts coming up between now and January - brain doc, cardiac doc, GP, it will be good to have him reassesed again and see how he is doing now medically. He woke me up the other when he came to bed to vent to me about somthing and I thought "Yah, another jump instead of my usual befoer the heart attack reaction "what are you waking me up for now?", ha. I smiled after we stopped talking because we used to do this to each other before and it had been one sided for quite some time. Our conversations are much more relaxed and two sided these days and I am getting used to (I am not taking it for granted though).
Now don't get that rosy pic of us in your head yet. We were argueing about something a couple of weeks ago and I told him the only reason I helped him come back from the brink of death was so I could kill him myself! Which made us both laugh out loud because the discussion was not that heated but it felt like old times again. Anyone who knows us will appreciate this.
This whole heart attack thing has been hard on me emotionally. Loving someone as much as I love Jason and the fact that I loved who he was the first time around, well, that was a toll on my psyche for quite some time. It still hits me every now and again but those moments of pure us that I get now renew my mental and physical strength. I see him going back to work and enjoying it. I am working and loving it, my job is amazing and the people I work with are too. Jacob is doing well in school. He is having his moments these days and I know they are due to what happened to Jason but we wrap around him and protect and love him as much as we can (without smothering him too much). He is a good boy, a good person and that's all we ever wanted in our son.
To all of our family and friends, military and civilian, thank you again for helping us through this. I could not have done it without you all.
The only bright light to this story is that Jason did not come down with anything. Now I think this is because I waited on Jacob hand and foot when he was battling H1N1 and thus I got it too. I have to say I was scared one of those night because his fever was so high. I called Telehealth and the nurse told me what to do, when to call 911, I even had her listen to him breathing while he was asleep. Not a good feeling.
My sinuses have been really affected by all of this and will not heal up. Hopefully next week will be a better week for that.
Jason has doc appts coming up between now and January - brain doc, cardiac doc, GP, it will be good to have him reassesed again and see how he is doing now medically. He woke me up the other when he came to bed to vent to me about somthing and I thought "Yah, another jump instead of my usual befoer the heart attack reaction "what are you waking me up for now?", ha. I smiled after we stopped talking because we used to do this to each other before and it had been one sided for quite some time. Our conversations are much more relaxed and two sided these days and I am getting used to (I am not taking it for granted though).
Now don't get that rosy pic of us in your head yet. We were argueing about something a couple of weeks ago and I told him the only reason I helped him come back from the brink of death was so I could kill him myself! Which made us both laugh out loud because the discussion was not that heated but it felt like old times again. Anyone who knows us will appreciate this.
This whole heart attack thing has been hard on me emotionally. Loving someone as much as I love Jason and the fact that I loved who he was the first time around, well, that was a toll on my psyche for quite some time. It still hits me every now and again but those moments of pure us that I get now renew my mental and physical strength. I see him going back to work and enjoying it. I am working and loving it, my job is amazing and the people I work with are too. Jacob is doing well in school. He is having his moments these days and I know they are due to what happened to Jason but we wrap around him and protect and love him as much as we can (without smothering him too much). He is a good boy, a good person and that's all we ever wanted in our son.
To all of our family and friends, military and civilian, thank you again for helping us through this. I could not have done it without you all.
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