I spend time now enjoying the small stuff. It's not just a cliche or a whole line of books. Where is everyone going? What does it mean to get ahead? Some people spend so much time trying to get where they going that they are not even sure where they are going or what they are working towards. I do not want to live my life like that. I won't live my life like that. Appreciating what I have and where I am has been a gift. I don't want to blow it off and ignore it. I worry about our future but not like I used to in the past. I constantly worried about everything and where did it get me? It led to a situation where no matter how much I worried, it did not change a thing. What encouraged change was my actions, my positive actions. Worrying did nothing for me so I stopped doing it (not completely but you know what I mean). Once I gave up, once I let life happen, I felt helpless in a way but also relieved. I did not feel responsible for what happened but I did feel responsible for what could happen and I kicked it into high gear. The results are obvious.
This past week was another milestone. Jason got the go ahead starting this week to work 3 full days (from 3 half days) so progress has happened again. He also got more bloodwork done, got new glasses (they look like his old ones - what can a wife do?) and got tasked with a job at work. He is a happy working man.
This weekend we had to social invites - the first being a going away party for his former boss and friend. It was great to see her and her husband and family. What a great circle of support. They have been so good to us and I only hope we can return the favour. Last night we were invited over to friends for wing night. Tom is an amazing wing maker - his salt and pepper wings are the best I have ever tasted. Going to their house is like going to family, they are a part of our family. It is so good having friends for such a long time - nothing beats it. The Penguins beat out the Senators - another bonus to the night and the karoke was heated up and what a great time.
Now I am looking for quotes for a deck out back. Is it worth our while to do it ourselves or have someone else do it? That is the question. I need to find out. Should be an interesting adventure. Maybe Jason and I can do it together? I think not. The deck might get finished but so may we. Not a good thing.
Driving out Friday night to the going away party Jason was concerned about his ability to socialize and I told him he would be fine. He told me easy for me to say, I would talk to just about anyone (the devil himself I would say). I then brought up the fact that at one time he could not even talk to me. He grinned and chuckled a bit and so I had to ask "what?" He said maybe he shouldn't have started doing that! I knew that was what he was thinking. ha I think I have him drove sometimes but that goes both ways. Things are so easy now for the most part and I can feel our rythm coming back. Mentally this is the best I have felt in a long time. I still worry but not to my own detriment, I cannot do that to myself any more. Living without that is better.