The Gift of Cancer

If you check out Eve Ensler's speech in the The Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com) - The Gift of Cancer, it may open your eyes. An intersting way of looking at her own battle. She is the author of the Vagina Monologues in case you were wondering why that name was familiar.

Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving to those overseas, those ordinary citizens who have it in them to not only serve their country but do it away from their families, their loved ones. Missing birthdays, holidays, anniversaries without complaint. But missing their children, their partners, their right hands and their beds so bad sometimes that they cannot even relay that to the people they work with or to the padre who asks them how they are feeling. Thank you for helping others. Thank you for representing us in the world. Thank you for being you.
We think about you a lot. We even sometimes cry while driving in our cars if a soppy endearing song comes on the radio because we know you would love to be home, would love to be hugged. We think about you at work, in school and on the bus. You are in our thoughts. We all want you to come home safe. We could not do what you are doing and we respect you for it.
Thank you to all the members of the Canadian Forces and their families. Thank you to the little boy who asked his Mom this afternoon why Daddy was not there this year. Thank you to the little girl at school who wrote her Thanksgiving speech about missing her Mom for the whole school to hear. They heard the pride in her voice. Thank you to the parents who cxonstantly check all the news networks daily and who hang on the phone calls and emails they get whenever possible. Thank you to the children who are with their grandparents this year for turkey because both Mom and Dad had to be away today. Thank you to the all of the gay partners who are spending today with family and friends without their loved one by their side. Thank you to the friends who raise a glass for their buddies today and await their tours to be over.

Thank you to all of those Canadians who thanked somebody today.

Stress Leave

I got adjusted by my Naturopath today and she told me I am very tense, holding all my stress in my neck and shoulders. I have stretching exercises to do every day now to keep the stress out of my upper body - so now where is it going to go?

Giving Thanks

After seeing all of the news from home about Igor and the destruction left behind I felt I had to try something. So I created an event on FB called Giving Thanks to Home as a means for Friends to send me a loonie in support of a family in Trouty that may be suffering as we speak. I saw Josephine from Trouty on CBC News one night and all I could do is cry along with her. She was overwhelmed and in shock, I could easilyrecognize it. I thought if we could help one family then one family will benefit and that's Giving Thanks to Home.
Newfoundland is a place of giving, caring and hard as a rock human beings that can take just about anything thrown at them. I think that's why I want to help. I want to also let them know that Newfoundlanders living away from home care, people care. The apathy I saw on TV and in newspapers regarding New Orleans was sad. It still is. But one by one, people jumped in to help. Not the government, not corporations, it started with ordinary citizens helping each other.
I have raised $72 so far and I want to keep going until Thanksgiving Day officially asking for your loonie but then I promise, I will stop. I will write a check for the full amount raised and sent it to a family in Trouty. It may not make them rich but it may represent the care we have for others.

Army Run 2010

I had a wonderful day yesterday. I volunteered with the well organized well oiled machine called Monique Geishardt and her team from MFRC-NCR. Our booth was located behind the Danish Embassy in Rockcliffe Park and it was the 13 km mark on the run. Beautiful spot. We set up tables, cleaned, made Gatorade and poured water. We were ready.

Handing our Gatorade to bikers, runners and walkers was one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had. Seeing the determination in their faces, seeing people wearing shirts with loved ones they have lost, seeing someone who run with their child - amazing. I got so choked up so many times yesterday. I was screaming "Gatorade", "good job" "woo hooo hooooo" and such and all of a sudden it would hit me or I would see somebody and I just couldn't talk. Yes I know it hard to believe. Me. I was on the verge of tears, unable to talk, but still holding the Gatorade.

Thank you M and C for the ride there, and for the Tim's! Getting up at 5:45am is not my usual time so the Tim's was a godsend. Thank you MFRC NCR and Monique and everyone who was on the team - I met some Newfoundlanders (of course) and David was a great partner in crime at our table (and he is a Biology teacher with a son in the military so we had lots to talk about in between runners). Thank you Subway for the sub after it was all over and the clean up was done. If you ahve never done it try it next year. You may think you are helping the people in the Run in some small way but they are helping you - they lift your spirit so high. So last but not least - thank you to all of the Army Run participants. Thank you.

Car dealerships and the saga of buying out your lease

A good friend of mine pointed out something to me on FB the other day "Why do you have to go through things like this? Why does everything have to be so hard?" I cannot answer that. I can only guess. Maybe I go through things like this so I can blog about it? Maybe because I have the patience of Job? Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something? And so the story began.
A letter arrived, from my dealership's financial services, stating that my lease was about to be up in September and a list of my options - return the car or buy it out. When Jason and I entered that first dealership in Halifax, we put down a deposit, told them we wanted a black four door hatchback standard with AC. Yep, yep, no problem. Then a phone call - no we cannot get that car for you, there are none in Atlantic and eastern Canada but we can get you a silver one. No, I wanted what was stated before we handed you some money. Jason got online and found my car in Fredericton, NB. We drove to the dealership in Halifax, asked for our deposit back and told them why and then drove to Fredericton and leased my car from a lovely dealership in Fredericton. Done.
I drove my car all of Halifax, had it shipped to Yellowknife. Also had it shipped here. It was peppy, small, cute, reliable. It got me to the hospital in a quick fashion on June 23rd, 2008. This is my car. Giving it back to the dealership, with only 42,000 km was not an option. The dealership had explained way back in the beginning how easy it was to buy out. I knew when I leased it how much it would cost and I knew back then I would never find a used car with one driver and 42,000 km for that price today (my smart husband and his good advice. And we paid less for the lease and buy out then just buying the car outright from the beginning which even the dealership thought was strange but that was the math back then. I should have know they would get my pound of flesh).

So in July I phoned the national dealership number and got the details. I needed a safety and emissions test done. Check. A certified cheque or bankdraft for the amount owing. Check. My ownership, driver's license. Check. Easy right? So, when I got back from NF (guy at the dealership said to call after I got back from holidays, plenty of time) I called the dealership closest to work and talked to Marvin. He told me the same details. He also said I should get the Safety and E test done there becasue it was $150 and I would never get it any cheaper than that. That was what everyone was charging. Hmmmmm. His voice was telling me that that was not the truth so I called around. I called a local guy, and I called Casselman CT. Robert in Casselman told me it would be around $110, taxes in. Lie. Jason ended up taking the car to CT because I was not feeling well and when he got home he announced "Around $90 bucks, taxes in" for the Saftey and E test. Hmmmmm. I did not trust Marvin now.

So I called the next closest dealership and Jay said the same things that I needed to buy out the lease and I BOOKED on the Friday an appt for Saturday at 11am. He told me "If you cannot make it call me and let me know". Late Friday at work I realized I needed to know who to make the certified cheque out to and for how much before I went there the next day at 11am. So I call. Jay is not in and I talk to another guy and he tells me that they don't make appts for Saturdays, they are too busy. He is rude and has a tone so I tell him Jay booked it I did not. I decide to just phone Jay in the AM and ask him myself.

So at 9am the next morning I call. I leave Jay a voicemail, figuring he's busy. 11am comes and goes by. Hmmmm. Why didn't he call? Now I still have not bought my car. Even Jacob wonders why we are not in Ottawa buying the car. On Monday morning there is no message on my work phone so I call that dealership again. "Jay does not work here anymore." I start to laugh. What???? He booked an appt with me on Friday for the Saturday I reply. "Jay walked out on Friday and he isn't coming back." So someone couldn't call his customers??? I decide to call all of the dealerships in Ottawa and try and find someone to give our money to so I can own my car.

I call the closest dealership to work back and get another guy Earl. No Marvin anyway. Earl sounds honest and tells me a $299 Administration fee will get tacked onto my total, plus tax of course. The is the first time I have heard of it. I phone all the dealerships to confirm Earl's comment and he is correct. Only one dealer in Kanata is charging $250 plus tax. Whoop whoop. He tells me it is $199 plus tax if you leased the car from that dealership but if you got it out of province (like most military families) then the admin figure is steeper. But I have done all the work. I have taken care of the car. No matter. At least Earl was honest, or so I thought.

Earl tells me the amount I owe, who the cheque should be made out to, etc. It is 4 days before my lease runs out. I started this over 3 weeks ago. On Tuesday I go in after work and meet with Earl. Hand over my money, sign, sign, sign. Oh yes he also told me the day before I have to pay a $15 admin fee to MTO to sign their car over to myself. He goes off to show everything to the GM and send it the safety/E tests to MTO and he hesitates. Says he better check the VIN Casselman CT wrote against my ownership. Before I know it he takes out his pen and writes on the safety test, saying he is making the 8 look like an 8. In my gut I know this will bite me. I tell him he should not have done that and he assures me that it would have been refused by MTO and come back to the dealership if he hadn't. This stuff has happened before. I am steamed. Of he goes, everything gets oked. I get the Bill of Sale and he tells me that I can pick up my ownership from MTO tomorrow because it's late and MTO won't get back with it until tomorrow afternoon. I ask who to talk to tomorrow to make sure it is in before I call, he gives me a name because he is off on Wednesday (of course). Earl also fills me in on the other dealership. Jay walked out. Marvin from their dealership walked out and replaced Jay. Too much. Which explains the phone call I overheard while waiting for 30 mins for Earl to come back. Someone from the other dealership called and asked why Marvin could not access the system? The response was good. When he walked they shut him out of access to their customer base, he cannot take all of their info to a new dealership. Marvin is not the smartest tool in the shed.

I call Wednesday afternoon. "MTO sent back your ownership because it was tampered with". I will have to talk to Earl on Thursday. OH no. I tell the guy that Earl tampered with it and he tells me to talk to him tomorrow. Have you ever seen a head come off? Friday my lease is up and I am driving a car that I paid for but do not own.

Thursday morning I call Earl. Of course he does not call me first. He says " You have to go back to Casselman CT and get another copy of your safety test". I say no, no. Earl you changed the 8 into a better 8. You tampered with it and now I have to do something? Drive an hour and a half out of my way to fix something you did?? "It had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to do with the 8. It was the 2". The 2? The 2? I look at it myself. I see nothing wrong with the numbers, I never did. Earl also tells me my old ownership is good for 36 days so plenty of time. I get off the phone, livid. I talk to my co-workers. One woman has an in with the Ottawa Police. She makes a few calls. I talk to an officer who assures me this is not right. He gives me good advice. I call the GM and leave him a voicemail about what has been going on.

He calls me back, apologizes a lot. He is a nice polite man and says he will look into it. If I can hold off going to Casselman he would appreciate it. I wait. When I call back 90 mins later he tells me that he has sent a parts/service guy to MTO in Orleans to see if they can starighten this out. Worst case scenario is that he will send a guy Friday morning to Casselman to get my copy again and I will have my ownership by Friday. Thank you. Finally someone who knows what they are doing. The GN also says they have 11 days to straighten this out. 11? I tell him Earl told me 36. Hmmm.

The GM calls back again. He has my ownership! I can pick it up on the way home. He also asks me did I sign anything to get my plates (sign my plates over to myself)? He noticed Jason's name on my ownership and we should both have signed it. No. Earl did not ask me and Jason (who was never present, I asked about that and was told that's ok) to sign anything. He then asked if we could sign that piece of paper and drop it off Friday morning with ATTN to him? Of course.

I arrive at the dealership after work. When I walk into the office the guy grabs my ownership and hands it over. I have not said my name or announced why I was there. I say You know it's bad when you know who I am before I say who I am. He agrees. I thank him. Jason and I sign that last piece of paper and I drop it off Friday morning before work. On the envelope I write " On Red Friday I thank you for helping a military family" knowing that that dealership supports the troops. I want the GM to know how one of his employees treated a customer and a member of a military family. Whew.

Now to write the letter to the national owner of the dealership.

Silent Scream

Feel like I am made out of ice
Cold, transparent and disappearing
What is left is just an incomplete slice
The time is what I am fearing.

I hate what we have become
Cannot go back, cannot move ahead
Stasis makes me come undone
Makes me what to lose my head.

Screaming silently throughout the night
Wishing for it all to end, go back
Waking up to what is right
The nightmare in broad daylight attack.

The light that burns bright keeps me here
Fighting, running, trying to fool the dark
It is my life, my cross to bear
Drag me through, make my mark.