Yesterday was a quiet event.

Jacob turned 12 yesterday!!! I cannot believe how quickly a boy can turn into a young man. Scary really. He thanks everyone for their cards, gifts and phone calls. I miss the little boy but this young man is a joy and good company. What a day.

Yesterday Jason went back to work. 668 days since he has officially wore the uniform and gone to work. Amazing. Amazing this day has come and gone. From the moment I walked into Stanton Territorial Hospital on June 23rd, 2008 I knew this day would come. I made a choice on my drive to the hospital that day. I chose to believe that Jason would be OK, no matter what. No matter what. Now when I entered the ER and was told "I could not see him yet because they hadn't brough him back yet" I almost panicked. I almost passed out. But I knew that would not do anyone any good. Not Jason, not jacob, not all of the military family in ER, not our family and friends and not me. I had to be the ONE. The one that stands tall, listens, thinks and absorbs all of the medical and military speak that was going to try and absorb me. But I had to control that. Slowly. How I did this I will never understand. I wanted to fall to the floor and be that hot mess. The love of my life was fighting for his life, his military colleagues and friends, the ER personnel had also fought for him. I had to do the same. I owed him that.
Jason has taught me so many things over the years and he deserved my undivided attention. It would get us back to yesterday. To happiness. Jason has always treated me like a queen (the fact that I am one should not make me presume my spouse would automatically treat me like one). Now that did not mean we did not argue. The opposite is true. We argued hard, against each other, for each other. It was that verbal sparring that amde us close. It was all out there, and we loved each other despite it. Some people watching us argue (we love to do it openly, sorry folks) thought we were on our way to divorce court. That is never in our agenda. I had to drag Jason through all of that medical hell - who else would argue with me and love me at the same time? Who would treat me like a queen? Who would be Jacob's father figure? No. He had to pull through. He had to make it. No choice in that.
To all of JTFN, to Stanton and the Royal Alex hospitals, to all of our family and friends, to all of the military community and our civilian communities in which we have lived - thank you for supporting us, thank you for thinking of Jason and including him in your lives, thank you for being a wall of support in a house that could have crumbled. There is strength in numbers. I have no doubt.
Something was lost but something was gained in our experience so far. I am not the same person. I am a better person. My memory is not as good these days (there is always a lot going on in my head) so that was a loss, but I love harder. My inner strength is bolder (who thought that was possible?), I am louder (who thought that was possible?) and I am more opinionated (do I need to ask that question again?).
Military families need support from their communities, from each other. Stand tall. reach out to each other. Do not unplug someone in a coma until you are sure. Be sure. Never believe what the first doctor tells you. Listen to your gut. When your significant other squeezes your hand, it may actually be a squeeze and not a reflex. Help your neighbour. Actions mean more than words. Love your family and friends, do not take them for granted. Give back and you will benefit in ways you cannot even imagine.